The Looser No-Fooper: a parody of strangers who are unfortunately actually real.
>be the most nosy stuck up loser in the world
>been forced to go to bible study for my entire life by my hardcore bible thumping JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZ parents until I became 20, and then kept going anyway on purpose.
>start being indoctrinated by natalist fucktards who don't actually care about people, only making more slaves for that sweet, sweet infrastructure and tax production, I'm such a good cow. Moo moooooo!
>think I'm smarter than everybody who ever lived and tell people this every single day on 4chan, reddit, instagram, facebook, and in the youtube comments section
>realize porn websites exist
>realize people are literally enjoying their life for even just a small moment
>become desperately obsessed with the idea of other mens penises and men and how often and in what way they are allowed to touch their own penises (But it's okay if women masturbate, WOMYNNNNNNNNN POWRRRRRR)
>so I call them cumbrains
>ahahhahahaha cumbrains! COOM! COOOOOOM!!!!
>this doesn't stop them from masturbating
>spread endless oceans of propaganda in an attempt to make everyone who masturbates feel depressed and self-hating and ashamed of their own natural body and for just having an orgasm every once in a while
>this doesn't stop them either
>write angry letters to congress demanding they burn the constitution so we can finally ban pornography *starts clapping like a retard*
>Senator rightly tells me to fuck off
>call him a retarded coombrain
>hahaha coom, COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (message too long, click here to view)
>eventually go insane trying to get people to stop masturbating
>break into adult video stores and begin flogging the perverts with my rosary, telling them to repent and start a family so they can enjoy a joyless life full of misery and wageslaving for a family that doesn't even care about you
>break into people's homes and start flogging them for masturbating
>get sent to mental hospital because cumbrains think I'm mentally unhinged
>COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM at the moon from my padded cell
>I am the nofap wolf! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM